Families.

You know how when a politician's name appears in the press, they'll put a letter next to it so you know what party they're from? In the case of the R's, I'm no longer prepared to accept that this means "Republican."

I've decided to start assuming that "R" stands for "ridiculous." To explain why, let's take a look at some things that good-humored elf Mike Huckabee had to say last week, shall we?

Huckabee, a former Baptist preacher, remains in favor of keeping in place ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell,’ the policy that requires the military to expel openly gay service members. “I wouldn’t support a repeal if I were commander-in-chief,”

Welcome to the 21st century, Huck.

Huckabee went on to draw parallels between homosexuality and other lifestyles that are considered by some to be morally aberrant. “You don’t go ahead and accommodate every behavioral pattern that is against the ideal,” he said of same-sex marriage. “That would be like saying, well, there are a lot of people who like to use drugs, so let’s go ahead and accommodate those who want to use drugs. There are some people who believe in incest, so we should accommodate them. There are people who believe in polygamy, so we should accommodate them.”

Yes, all those things are exactly the same.

He also affirmed support for a law in Arkansas that prohibits same-sex couples from becoming adoptive or foster parents. “I think this is not about trying to create statements for people who want to change the basic fundamental definitions of family,” Huckabee said.

Ah yes, the "basic fundamental definitions of family."

You mean these?

Family:

1 : a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head : household
2 a : a group of persons of common ancestry : clan b : a people or group of peoples regarded as deriving from a common stock : race

A group of individuals who share ties of blood, marriage, or adoption; a group residing together and consisting of parents, children, and other relatives by blood or marriage; a group of individuals residing together who have consented to an arrangement similar to ties of blood or marriage.

Don't fuck with the fundamentals, fundamentalist.

“And always we should act in the best interest of the children, not in the seeming interest of the adults.”

Yes, let's do act in the best interests of the children. If the entire country were to prohibit same-sex couples from adopting or fostering, it

could displace 9,000 to 14,000 children