Monday, September 13, 2010

Year of the Dragon

You know when you hear about how great something is for so long it feels like you’ve already experienced it and agree completely with its greatness. But then you actually take the time to experience it for real and you’re like: What, why didn’t anyone tell me this was so fucking great? But of course, they did. You were just were too busy/tired/preoccupied/frazzled/dumb. Yeah, that’s me with “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.” Also, holy good God, Noomi Rapace.

Besides being a brutal, taut and well-constructed thriller, TGWTDT’s best feature is its introduction of the universe to the amazing talent that in Noomi. You Swedes probably knew this all long, but us in less fortunate geographic locales needed to see her transform completely into Lisbeth Salander to find a clue. Wow. I mean, damn. What is more emphatic than wow and damn? WAMN! I don’t know. But I do know that having seen interviews and pictures of Noomi outside her TGWTDT role and having seen her on screen, that’s am amazing bit of acting. She looks, of course, different (and, I might add, queerilicious), but her body too has been sculpted into one gorgeous mass of sinew and muscle.

Plus, oh kittens, that scowl. You know how much I love a sexy scowler. (Oh Lena, Lena).

If, like me, you have been remiss in seeing this film I would advise you forget whatever inferior film you are thinking of renting (Is that, are you…? No – no “Prince of Persia.” For one, Jake Gyllenhaal is in no way Persian.), and pick up “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” instead. Plus, how many other movies will give you a bisexual punk kick-ass hacker for its lead? Lucky for us, its sequel “The Girl Who Played with Fire” comes out on DVD next month. And this time we get to see Lisbeth do more than just wake up next to that hot lady friend of hers.

Though, while we’re on the subject, do we really need an American version? I like David Fincher as much as the next gal (except Benjamin Button...why...so...long?), but are we really that lazy that we can’t read the subtitles? And, while we’re still on the subject, (SPOILERS if you haven’t seen the film/read the books, seriously, don’t yell at me this seems like enough warning space for spoilers…) does the thought of Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara making with the sexy time together as the story demands fill anyone with an overwhelming sense of ewww? The problem in Rooney looks so much younger and more frail than Noomi. Which, to reiterate, is ewww. But, hey, maybe the kid will surprise me and make her own transformation into a fierce fire-breathing avenger filled with scowl and fury.

Or maybe I’ll just watch the originals again.

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