Vacation Vixen: Mary-Louise Parker

What are things that if they were in my bed would cause me to never leave it for $1,000, Alex.

Girls do make passes at girls who wear glasses

So, I still can’t stop thinking about those smart girls. If there is one accessory that almost automatically adds points to a woman’s IQ, it’s a nice pair of glasses. Give a gal with glasses a book (particularly a book about kissing, like Mia Kirshner above) and be still my big nerdy heart. Now, as some of you might remember, I’m a glasses wearer. I wear contacts most of the time, but I’ve always got my specs on in the evening to write and watch TV and hang about the house. As a kid, I wore glasses full-time – big clunky things that for some incomprehensible reason covered more of my cheeks than my actual eyes. Seriously, were we trying to look through some heretofore unknown fourth eye with those enormous hubcap lenses in the 80s? Back then they used to say “Guys don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses.” But that was before the whole sexy librarian thing really took off. And now, well, I still can’t speak for the guys, but this gal sure likes making passes at girls who wear glasses. In particular, these gals. No need to take your glasses off and shake out your hair, ladies. I mean, feel free to shake out your hair, but definitely keep the glasses on while you do it. Here’s looking at you, four eyes.

Mary-Louise ParkerBig brown eyes behind big brown frames make my knees weak, instantly.

Cate BlanchettBlue eyes behind blue frames ain’t half bad either.

Shirley MansonOf course, gingers can wear whatever color frames they want.

Angelina JolieAnd then sometimes you don’t need any color at all, just the world’s most expertly arched eyebrow.

Anna TorvEverything in this picture works for me. Glasses. V-neck. Ponytail. Laptop. Books. Heck, I even like the lamp.

Padma LakshmiEverything in this picture works for me, too. Plus, I know Padma could cook me an amazing dinner afterwards. And then we’d talk shit about Tom Colicchio.

Sarah ShahiNow that’s what I call a nice pair – of glasses.

Helena Bonham CarterThis whole ensemble is crazy. But crazy good, not crazy Bellatrix Lestrange.

Rachel MaddowOh, to have her look over her Clark Kent glasses and talk dirty, dirty politics to me.

Tina FeyOh, please, like I wasn’t going to include her.

Marlee Matlin & Jennifer BealsThis is them, the insane hubcap-sized glasses we used to wear in the 80s. Of course, they look fine on Marlee and Jennifer. Whatever, I’m not jealous. Though, we probably shouldn’t talk about the hair.

Oh, and one other sexy thing about glasses? When things get steamy, so do they.

Mary-Louise Parker Biography

Mary-Louise Parker (born August 2, 1964) is an American actress. Some of her more famous roles were in Fried Green Tomatoes, Boys on the Side, Proof, The West Wing, Angels in America, for which she received a Golden Globe and an Emmy Award for Best Supporting Actress, and her current lead role on Showtime's television series Weeds portraying Nancy Botwin, for which she has received several nominations and the Golden Globe Award for Best Actress in 2006.

Early life and 1980s

Parker was born in Fort Jackson, South Carolina, the daughter of Caroline, who was of Swedish descent, and John Parker, a judge who served in the U.S. Army. Because of her father's career, Parker spent parts of her childhood in Tennessee and Texas, as well as internationally in Thailand, Germany and France. Parker majored in drama at the North Carolina School of the Arts. She then got her start in a bit part on the soap opera Ryan's Hope. In the late 1980s, Parker moved to New York, where she got a job measuring feet at ECCO. After a few minor roles, she made her Broadway debut in a 1990 production of Craig Lucas' Prelude to a Kiss, playing the lead role of Rita. She had moved with the production when it transferred from its origin Off-Broadway. She won the Clarence Derwent Award for her performance and was nominated for a Tony Award (although she did not play the role when the film was made). Parker also briefly dated her co-star Timothy Hutton during this time.

That same year, Parker was noticed by critics when she appeared in the movie adaptation of another Lucas play, Longtime Companion, one of the first movies to confront AIDS in the public arena. This role was followed by her appearance in 1991's Grand Canyon, which also starred Mary McDonnell, Danny Glover, Alfre Woodard and Kevin Kline. Parker's next film was Fried Green Tomatoes, alongside Jessica Tandy, Mary Stuart Masterson, Kathy Bates and Cicely Tyson.

1990s

Parker maintained a strong theater presence in the early 1990s, but also built her reputation on the big screen, starring with Susan Sarandon and Tommy Lee Jones in The Client (1994); with John Cusack in Bullets Over Broadway (1994); and with Drew Barrymore and Whoopi Goldberg in Boys on the Side (1995), as a woman with AIDS. Her next role was in a movie adaptation of another Craig Lucas play, Reckless (1995), alongside Mia Farrow, followed by Jane Campion's The Portrait of a Lady (1996), which also starred Nicole Kidman, Viggo Mortensen, Christian Bale, John Malkovich and Barbara Hershey. In addition, she appeared alongside Matthew Modine in Tim Hunter's The Maker (1997).

Parker's theater career continued when she appeared in Paula Vogel's 1997 critical smash How I Learned To Drive, with David Morse. In the late 1990s, she appeared in several independent films including Let the Devil Wear Black and The Five Senses.

2001–2003

In 2001, Parker appeared alongside Larry Bryggman in David Auburn's Proof on Broadway, for which she won a Tony Award. However, Parker again lost out when the play was made into a film and the role was given to Gwyneth Paltrow. During this period, she left the theater for three years to look for other roles: among them, Red Dragon and Pipe Dream (2002).

Next was a guest role on the NBC drama, The West Wing, as women's rights activist Amelia "Amy" Gardner, which soon became a recurring role as a love interest for Deputy Chief of Staff Joshua Lyman. For this role, Parker was nominated for both an Emmy Award and a Screen Actors Guild Award. During the fifth season, however, Parker became pregnant and her character was written out of the series after appearing in four episodes. The character returned to the series in the final episodes (see below).

On December 7, 2003, HBO aired an epic six-and-a-half hour adaptation of Tony Kushner's acclaimed Broadway play Angels in America, directed by Mike Nichols. The miniseries, about a group of lost souls in New York during the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s, was hailed with international critical acclaim. Parker played Harper Pitt, the Mormon Valium-addicted wife of a closeted lawyer, appearing full frontally nude. For her performance, Parker received Golden Globe and Emmy awards for Best Supporting Actress in a Miniseries.

2004–2006

In 2004, Parker appeared in the comedy Saved!, and a TV movie called Miracle Run, based on the true story of a mother of two sons with autism, as well as appearing in Craig Lucas' Reckless on Broadway. Parker took the lead role that had been Mia Farrow's on screen. The production, directed by Mark Brokaw, earned Parker another nomination for a Tony Award for Best Actress in 2005.

Parker returned to The West Wing in several guest appearances in 2005 and 2006, the show's final season, portraying the Director of Legislative Affairs under the President-elect Matt Santos.

In 2005, Parker took on the lead role in the television series Weeds, a Showtime comedy-drama. Parker's character, Nancy Botwin, is a suburban mother who, following the death of her husband, decides to sell cannabis to make money, while also attempting to maintain her community reputation. She stars alongside Kevin Nealon, Alexander Gould, Hunter Parish, Elizabeth Perkins, and her Angels in America co-star Justin Kirk.

In November 2005, Parker was honored with an exhibition of her career at Boston University, where memorabilia from her career were donated to the University's library. Parker received the 2006 Golden Globe Award for Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy, given by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, for her lead role in Weeds. In that category, she defeated the four leads of Desperate Housewives. She dedicated the award to the late John Spencer, best known for his work as Leo McGarry on The West Wing. After receiving the award, Parker stated: "I'm really in favor of legalizing marijuana. I don't think it's that controversial."

2007–present

In March 2007, Parker played the lead role in the TV film The Robber Bride. Her next role, Zerelda Mimms, in the Andrew Dominik film The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, opened in cinemas in September 2007. Parker appeared alongside Brad Pitt, Casey Affleck, Sam Rockwell and Garret Dillahunt. In August 2007, Parker continued her role in the third season of Weeds. In July 2007, Parker was nominated for two Emmy Awards, one for Lead Actress In A Miniseries Or A Movie for playing Zenia Arden in The Robber Bride and the other for Lead Actress in a Comedy Series for Weeds.

In August 2007, she posed nude for an ad for the third season of Weeds. In the ad, she appears as Eve in the Garden of Eden, with a snake draped around her body and a cannabis leaf behind her ear.

On November 9, 2007, Parker was honored as the Entertainer of the Year by Out magazine at the Out 100 Awards, which were celebrated in New York City.

Parker appeared in 2008's The Spiderwick Chronicles and in off-Broadway's Playwrights Horizons in the New York premiere of Dead Man's Cell Phone, a new play by Sarah Ruhl, alongside Drama Desk Award Winner Kathleen Chalfant.

She filmed the Donna Vermeer film Les Passages alongside Julie Delpy. Following this, she returned to work on the fifth season of Weeds, the season finale airing in September 2009. In the spring of 2009, Parker took the lead role in the upcoming revival of the play Hedda Gabler, which opened to garner a series of bad reviews.

Parker portrayed Sarah opposite Bruce Willis in the film Red, an adaptation of the comic book mini-series of the same name. The film was released on October 15, 2010.

Personal life

On January 7, 2004, Parker gave birth to her first child, William Atticus Parker. The boy's father is actor Billy Crudup, whom Parker met during rehearsals when they co-starred onstage in a 1996 revival of the William Inge play Bus Stop. After nearly eight years together, the couple split when the actress was seven months pregnant.

In December 2006, Parker began dating actor Jeffrey Dean Morgan, whom she met on the set of Weeds. In March 2007, Parker stated that the relationship was "going great." The two briefly split in June 2007, but later reconciled. On February 12, 2008, Parker and Morgan announced their engagement only to break up again in April 2008.

In September 2007, Parker adopted a baby girl, Caroline "Ash" Aberash Parker, from Ethiopia.

Since June 2009, she has been dating singer-songwriter Charlie Mars.

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Grassroots lesbianism

I would officially like to declare this the launch of the “People In Support of Nancy Botwin Embracing Lesbianism” grassroots letter-writing campaign. Yep, the line forms here. Get your pens, get your paper, get your stamps. This is where it starts. We are all going to write into Showtime right this very second to make this happen because Mary-Louise Parker said so. I am very obedient when it comes to these matters. Obsequious, even.

But perhaps I am getting ahead of myself a tad. I can’t help it, what with the excitement. Mary-Louise Parker is talking about embracing lesbianism and I’m rushing the punchline. Let’s back up and talk about how this soon-to-be groundswell of public support began. You see, Mary-Louise did an interview with Vanity Fair. In said interview she talks about many things: never having smoked pot, once having sucked on a pot lollipop, why smart people want to fuck her, why dumb people also probably want to fuck her, why Nancy Botwin likes to fuck rough, how fame is fucked up and not knowing who the fuck Bill O’Reilly is but thinking he “probably comes from a nuclear family and didn’t get enough attention as a child.” God, I fucking love her.

Amid all of that, she also talked about the trailer for the sixth season which featured Mary-Louise offering Linda Hamilton a very personalized down payment, ahem, in exchange for some product. When the interviewer asks if Nancy would be getting any lady action this season, she responds:

MLP: Yeah, yeah, I hear you. But no, that’s not happening. It’s just something they put in the trailer because it’s funny, but it doesn’t actually happen. It’s not a bad idea though. I’ve always thought that Nancy should have sex with a woman. It’d be good for her.

VF: Would it help if we started a letter-writing campaign?

MLP: Like a grassroots sort of thing? Yeah, we should do it. “People In Support of Nancy Botwin Embracing Lesbianism.” Right on.

You heard the woman. Get writing.

“Look at those fried green tomatoes”

So, on Friday, I wrote a strongly worded letter to Florida telling them to stick their tax credit ban on movies with gay characters where the Sunshine State don’t shine. In the process of writing that post, I started thinking about my favorite movies with gay characters. And, because I still couldn’t shake the Florida thing, I also started thinking about the time while driving down to the Sunshine State I made a special pit stop in Juliette, GA to visit the Whistle Stop Café. And that’s where the gay characters/Florida connection all came together and I started to think about “Fried Green Tomatoes.” Convoluted? Yes. Just how my brain works? You betcha.

Now, I know I’m not alone in the soft, warm spot I have in my heart for this film. I claim it as one of ours, even though the movie never explicitly spells it out. (The book, naturally, is a tad more direct.) So Idgie and Ruth will always be one of my favorite lesbian movie couples. Always. I can quote whole swaths of it verbatim. I’m sure you can, too. How about we quote some together?

Now, little tomboy Idgie Threadgoode is adorable. And then older tomboy Idgie is pretty cute, too. But things really don’t get good until Idgie tells Ruth never. And as we all know, you never say never to Ruth Jamison. And then, then we get to the bees.

“You’re just a bee charmer, Idgie Threadgoode. That’s what you are, a bee charmer.”To this day, I think one of the highest complements you can give a gal is to call her a bee charmer.

Idgie: “You’re gettin’ married?”
Ruth: “As soon as the summer’s over... Oh, am I gonna miss you.”

Good God, if you can’t read that subtext you are beyond help.

“If you ever touch her again, I’ll kill you.”All valiant butches will be judged against the valor of this moment. Also, this outfit. Thank you, Mary Stuart Masterson.

“She’s trying to teach me how to cook!”

My first girlfriend and I would quote this scene back and forth. I still can’t cook, but we sure had some fun trying.

“Believe me when I tell you, I don't want you to move out.”This is maintext, people. MAINTEXT.

“Go on you ol’ Bee Charmer, tell me a good tall tale.”This always makes me weepy. I even get a little melancholy sometimes looking at ducks on a lake. I am, however, very happy that Mary-Louise Parker has progressed to the point in her career where she no longer has to die heroically in every movie.

So, there you have it, a lovely jaunt down memory lane courtesy the idiot legislators in Florida. But remember, Florida, if you won’t listen to reason, there is always Towanda.

Total Lezzy

Awww shucks, you guys, you’ve done it again. Thanks to you, I’m up for another Lezzy Award for 2009 Best Lesbian Entertainment/ Lesbian Culture Blog. The Lezzys (started in 2008 as the Lesbian Blog of the Year Award) are handed out annually by The Lesbian Lifestyle. Those of you’ve who’ve hung around here long enough might recall that I’ve been lucky enough to win the last two years (2007 Lesbian Blog of the Year & 2008 Best Entertainment/Overall Lesbian Blog of the Year honors).

This year the awards will be handed out in 11 categories. They are:

• Best Lesbian Entertainment/Lesbian Culture Blog
• Best Lesbian Humor Blog
• Best Lesbian Parenting Blog
• Best Lesbian Engagement/Wedding Blog (new for 2009)
• Best Lesbian Feminist/Political Blog
• Best Lesbian Personal Blog
• Best Lesbian “Out later in life” Blog (new for 2009)
• Best Lesbian Sex/Short Story/Erotica Blog
• Best Lesbian Podcast
• Best New Lesbian Blog (new for 2009)
• Lesbian Blog Lifetime Achievement Award (new for 2009)

Also nominated in my category are Autostraddle and Fit for a Femme. The former is the glossy girl-on-girl culture chronicles of Riese and her homosexy staff (not to mention their intern army of, like, zillions). The latter is the chronicles of the daily fashion choices of, you guessed it, a Femme. Both are fabulous, both are formidable.

So many well-known and equally great blogs are up for awards in other categories this year that instead of picking and choosing, I’m just going to go straight (but not in that way) ticket and promote fellow Team AfterEllen nominees. For Humor, Grace the Spot. For Parenting, Mombian. For Lifetime Achievement, the mother ship, AfterEllen.

Now, onto the mushy stuff. Since I started this blog in 2006, I’ve been continually humbled by all of your support, encouragement and generosity. Clearly, I don’t write this site for awards (though, let’s not lie, who doesn’t like to win things). Instead I write it because a) sleep is for suckers and b) if I couldn’t write my head would explode and c) you’ve made it such a wonderful place to keep coming back to. People grouse all the time, and rightfully so, about what passes for discourse online these days. But I feel forever fortunate that together, we’ve been able to carve out a space that is overwhelmingly civil, respectful and engaged. I never take that for granted, ever.

OK, OK. I’ve put away my Kleenex. This is, after all, a competition. So here comes the nitty gritty:

1. Voting is now open.
2. You can vote once every 24 hours.
3. For your vote to count you have to click the link in your confirmation email.
4. Voting ends at 11:59 p.m. EDT March 1 (technically 12:00 a.m. March 2, but people always get confused about which midnight that means and I don’t think that 1 minute will make or break anyone).

So, vote early and vote often, like an old-school Chicago politician. As fantastic as it would be to win again, what I’m most pleased about is that The Lesbian Lifestyle (and its founded Kelly, aka goldstardyke) keeps running these awards to recognize the wonderful diversity and depth of gay women on the web.

But, just to show you I do have some competitive spirit (I sucked at sports, this is my only shot), I’m going to sweeten the pot by running a contest. If you forward me a copy of your confirmation email, you’ll be entered in a contest to win either the complete season five DVD of “Weeds” or a review copy of the Indigo Girls double CD, “Poseidon and the Bitter Bug.” See:

The more you vote, the more times you are entered. And don’t worry, you don’t even have to vote for me to be eligible (confirmation emails don’t show who you voted for, so I’ll never know). Yes, I’ll even send it overseas out of my own pocket if someone abroad gets picked. Win or lose, that’s a thank you from me to you. Oh, and just to show how really, really competitive I am, this is also a thank you from me to you. Enjoy.

Mary-Louise Parker


Olivia Wilde


Rosario Dawson


Rachel Weisz


To truly be appreciated, that last one really needs to move.

CLICK HERE TO VOTE
(once every 24 hours, and don’t forget to click those email links).

SGALGG: Love your television edition

Look, I realize we’re all on a “Glee” high right now (congrats Jane and Lea for those Golden Globe nods – and Matthew, but mostly that’s just for your lesbian hair). But Lea Michele and Dianna Agron aren’t the only TV co-stars who can bring award caliber SGALGG. In fact, many a leading ladies get extracurricularly touchy feely with each other. Those long hours on the set between takes with nothing to do but hang out and look longingly at one another naturally leads to a lot of Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals situations. It’s like they know we’re writing the femflash already, so why not help us along. I mean, how can you look at that picture and not know that Joan and Peggy were made for each other?

NCIS: Pauley Perrette & Cote de PabloThe T-shirt says it all.

Grey’s Anatomy: Kate Walsh & Katherine HeiglKatherine seems to be protecting her delicate areas. It’s like she knows Kate is, um, grabby.

Weeds: Mary-Louise Parker & Elizabeth PerkinsHand placement is everything.

The Vampire Diaries: Kayla Ewell & Nina DobrevThey really, really shouldn’t have killed off Vicki.

Gossip Girl: Michelle Trachtenberg & Leighton MeesterEveryone is all about Serena and Blair, but that look says little Dawnie has some plans of her own – naughty plans.

Damages: Glenn Close & Rose ByrneOK, it’s a little May-December, but think of the delicious power struggle that would ensue.

30 Rock: Jane Krakowski & Katrina BowdenFooled you by not using Tina, didn’t I?

Modern Family: Sofía Vergara & Julie BowenI hear they don’t get along on the set. But, clearly, that’s a cover to hide the sexual tension. Clearly.

Criminal Minds: Kirsten Vangsness, A.J. Cook
& Paget BrewsterGranted, Kirsten is a GG instead of a SG. But A.J. and Paget look incredibly eager to, shall we say, experiment.

Glee: Jenna Ushkowitz, Lea Michele & Amber RileyWhat, you thought I’d forget “Glee” entirely?

Glee: Jessalyn Gilsig & Jayma MaysCould you imagine if Terri and Emma hooked up instead? Best of all, there’d be no need to fake any sort of pregnancy.

Like I was saying, God bless television.