Streep tease

A world where Meryl Streep is not sexy enough is a world in which I don’t want to live. Period. Full stop. But it was a world we all almost had to live in thanks to the underdeveloped definition of sexy from director Sydney Pollack back in the day. Last week, Meryl revealed that the “Out of Africa” director did not consider her “sexy” enough to play the role of the Danish writer Isak Dinesen. Meryl divulged this nugget to Conan on The Tonight Show, as well as her creative way of combating the problem. Hint: It involved the quicker picker upper.

Let us first get over our fit of giggles about an actress not being hot enough to play a writer. (I know from experience; I’m a writer.) But now let’s get to the not-so-funny fact that once again directors who should know better are looking past talent and straight to cleavage. Granted, that was back in 1985. But I’m sad to say I’m pretty sure this is still happening, all over Hollywood, right this very second. That sound you hear is the deep, impatient sigh of women everywhere who want, finally, to be judged on talent – nothing more or less.

Now, that said, the letch in me can’t help lingering on the visuals. Oh, Meryl. Just the thought seeing parts of you “mound up” is enough to send me into hotness overdrive. In fact, now I can think of nothing else. In case you need a visual reminder, there’s this [Click! To! Embiggen!]:

And those are of Meryl now. This is what she looked like back in her supposed not-hot-enough-to-be-Isak-Dinesen days.

Suck it, Sydney. The only things Meryl needs paper towels for is to hand out to her legions of admirers to wipe up the drool.

Speaking of drool, I just love it when Meryl gets her SGALGG on about Amy Adams. Look at her face: pure bliss. God, I can’t wait to see “Julie & Julia” this Friday. You’d better believe I’ll be on “mound” watch.

p.s. As if you needed more reasons to see this movie (Meryl? Amy? Food? Duh, I’m in!), it also has Jane freaking Lynch. Jane with Meryl together is almost too much awesomesauce for me to handle. Also, duuuuude. Check out Jane in a dress. Whoa.