Vacation Vixen: Sandra Bullock

What? It’s a Tuesday.

SGALGG: Lesbian Oscars Edition

God, did you make it through all 127 hours of the Oscars telecast? Did anyone find James Franco’s personality? Or, better yet, could he have just shared whatever he was smoking with all of us. That way it would have been a much more enjoyable experience for all parties involved. Though, despite the show falling in its desperate attempt to be young and breaking its hipness, there were still some quality Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals moments. I mean, the show’s one conscious host Anne Hathaway herself called it “a great year for lesbians.”

Michelle Willliams & Busy PhillipsBusy was Michele’s date for the Oscars, and they even arrived holding hands. Someone needs to give them a portmanteau tout de suite.

Gwyneth Paltrow & Cameron DiazI can’t tell if I’m more excited by the SGALGGy hug or the arm porn. Probably both.

Sandra Bullock & Halle BerryI will pay good money to whoever has the next photo in this sequence. Kiss her you fool!

Marisa Tomei & Melissa LeoMarisa looks like she’s about to jump into Melissa’s arms. And then, in my head, they do the dramatic lift from “Dirty Dancing.”

Selena Gomez & Taylor SwiftWhile the Bieber kid looks more lesbian, Selena and Taylor make a cuter couple.

Leslie Mann, Emma Stone & Jennifer WestfeldtThe best thing about this picture is how badly Judd Apatow wants to make this a foursome and how defiantly the ladies are keeping it a threesome.

Rosario Dawson & Jennifer HudsonWhat I would not give to hear a “Take Me or Leave Me” duet between those two.

Reese Witherspoon & Elizabeth BanksI’m assuming Reese just said something absolutely filthy about what she was going to do with that finger and Elizabeth approves.

Anne HathawayIf only Anne had hosted with herself and her tuxedoed self, instead of James Franco. It would have been so much more entertaining, and hot.

Lea Michele & Dianna AgronI particularly love how they both look like they’ve been caught in the act. Busted, Achele, busted.

GGALGG Bonus: Lora Hirschberg & her wife LauraOut lesbian sound mixer Lora Hirschberg won for Inception and got a smooch on her way to the stage.

OK, Anne Hathaway, you were right. It was a great year for lesbians, or at least lesbian behavior.

p.s. Check out my full Oscar recap over at AfterEllen.

Pucker up

They say when it rain it pours, but this is ridiculous. You go days, weeks, months without any good, tasty lesbianish happenings and then – BOOM – a ton of them blow up all at once. We’ve got Sandra Bullock kissing Scarlett Johansson at the MTV Movie Awards for no other reason than it’s hot to kiss Scarlett Johansson. Somewhere Meryl Streep is seething with jealousy. Then we’ve got Ruby Rose and Kim Stolz tweeting what everyone else’s gaydar already told them: Kristen Stewart seems mighty gay. Their tweets were followed by adorable Twitter death threats from Twihard wingnuts who think calling KStew (forevermore affectionately redubbed GayStew) a lesbian is slander. It’s not, kids. Also, vampires aren’t real. And finally we’ve got little Miley Cyrus air kissing a female dancer and then blowing her defense of the act by saying because their lips didn’t touch that she “did nothing wrong.” Once more with feeling: Kissing girls isn’t “wrong” or “bad” or “slanderous.” It’s just awesome. Also, did you know Cybill Shepherd has another lesbian daughter (scroll to the end)? I know! It’s totally pouring. And I’m probably missing something.

So amid this downpour I have only one thing to say: Look, straight (and gayish) ladies who want to publicly (or secretly) make out with other ladies – cool it. I’m going on vacation tomorrow for two weeks. Don’t do all your gay stuff while I’m gone and therefore can’t comment snarkily on it. I don’t want to miss all the ridiculousness. Well, OK, I could do with a little less ridiculous in some cases. I mean, what the hell was that Sandy-ScarJo kiss all about anyway? While I’m not complaining about the act itself (a refresher, girls kissing is always awesome). But I am complaining about the reasoning. For laughs? For the straight boys? For attention? Jezebel has a great rundown of the reasoning for each instant of straight-girl on straight-girl smooching. Sure, this trend of fauxmosexual snogs is good for a giggle and to fuel our most feverish wishful thinking. And ultimately, I don’t think it really hurts us – in a strange way may help normalize the concept. But call me when the real homosexuals show up. What can I say, I like my kisses to count.

Apologises to Sandra Bullock amid Affair Reports

Apologises to Sandra Bullock amid Affair Reports - Sandra Bullock's husband Jesse James has issued an apology amid reports he had an affair with a tattooed model. While the 40-year-old insisted 'the vast majority' of the allegations about him were untrue, he conceded he had 'poor judgement'.
James's apology comes four days after Bullock was reported to have left the couple's Southern Californian house. He said in a statement: 'There is only one person to blame for this whole situation, and that is me.

'It's because of my poor judgement that I deserve everything bad that is coming my way.

'This has caused my wife and kids pain and embarrassment beyond comprehension and I am extremely saddened to have brought this on them.

'I am truly very sorry for the grief I have caused them. I hope one day they can find it in their hearts to forgive me.'

With Bullock apparently in hiding, James was seen bringing his children to school today while still wearing his wedding ring. A source told People magazine Bullock left the family home on Monday.

Bullock pulled out of the British premiere of her new film The Blind Slide on Wednesday as In Touch magazine published an interview with James' alleged lover Michelle 'Bombshell' McGee.

The tattooed lady is even more heavily decorated with ink than James' porn star turned director ex-wife, Janine Lindermulder. She told the magazine that she called 40-year-old James her 'Vanilla Gorilla' and gave salacious details of their alleged 11 month affair.

In a gushing speech at the Oscars earlier this month, 45-year-old Miss Bullock thanked motorbike enthusiast James for his support. His eyes welled with tears as she spoke of her love for him.

Miss Bullock had been due to attend the first London screening of The Blind Side on Tuesday with her co-star, newcomer Quinton Aaron. But in a terse statement, Warner Brothers yesterday announced that the event and its accompanying parties were off because 'unforeseen circumstances' had arisen which meant Miss Bullock was 'no longer available to travel'.

The actress had a string of unsuccessful relationships before meeting James, a former bodyguard to heavy metal groups, when she took her young godson to the set of his now-axed TV show Monster Garage.

She became his third wife almost five years ago. Brunette Miss McGee claims she made email contact with James in April 2009 when she was looking for a modelling job with his company, West Coast Choppers. A week later, they met and had sex on his Los Angeles office couch 'two or three times'.

The model, who is in her 20s, said she thought his marriage was over when the fling started.

The magazine printed lewd texts from James to Miss McGee, in which he called her 'babe' and praised her 'beautiful eyes'.

In one, from as recently as Sunday, he wrote: 'Was just think'n' bout u this morning.'

She said: 'I'm a little more edgy than Sandra, obviously. I like motorcycles and I think we maybe had a lot more in common than she did with him. I think he was lonely.'

Miss McGee said she met and 'bonded with' James's five-year-old daughter Sunny, by his ex, Lindermulder. She claimed that the pair even watched Miss Bullock's appearance at the MTV Awards last May while in bed together. 'In my mind, the reason he wasn't there was because they were separated.'

Although they always met in secret at James's office, Miss McGee said she did not realise he was still married until they ran into mutual friends at a tattoo convention in Long Beach last June. 'It was awkward, he knew he was caught.'

It is not clear if or when Miss Bullock was told of her husband's alleged cheating.

But at the SAG Awards in January, she said: 'To my husband Jesse, who works so hard all day.

'And you get dressed up in monkey suits and you sit at tables with people you don't know and I leave you there and then you come back with, like, Morgan Freeman's email.

'I don't know how you do it. I love you so much and you're really hot and I want you so much.'

At the Golden Globes, she said: 'To my husband  -  there's no surprise that my work got better when I met you, so thank you.'

And finally, at the Oscars, she thanked her late mother Helga for sending her James. A spokesman for the actress refused to discuss the magazine allegations yesterday. Jesse James was unavailable for comment.

Sandra Bullock, Sandra Bullock Divorce, Sandra Bullock Sues Husband Divorce,

Sandra Bullock Sues Husband Divorce

Sandra Bullock Sues Husband Divorce
Oscar Winner, Sandra Bullock, has cast a divorce suit against Jesse James (41), her husband. It was reported by People magazine's website on Wednesday (04/28/2010) Los Angeles time.


James Bullock sued for divorce about a month after several women acknowledge that they had an affair with James. "Yes, have been sued for divorce," said the 45-year-old Hollywood actress, who also reported feeling sad and scared.

People also reported that Bullock has adopted an African-American infants, Bardo Louis Bullock, who was three and a half months.

Bullock won his first Oscar for Best Actress category last month thanks to his playing in The Blind Side. He moved from the house that once lived in with James soon after, amid news that mentions that James had an affair with at least four women.

To James, who married a Bullock nearly five years, issued a statement of apology to his wife and children as well, reported, a patient of a clinic.

People magazine's site also announces that Bullock and James were together through the adoption process began four years ago, and they bring home to their houses Louis in January 2010 from New Orleans. According to the same site, they keep secret until after the adoption of the 2010 Oscar performances. Now, write the site again, Bullock adopt as single parents. (AFP / ATI)

SG*ALGG: Oscar Edition

Hey, lots of pretty ladies in lots of pretty dresses hugged each other last night! Oh, and they also handed out some awards. And some really pretty ladies in really pretty dresses won them! Really, the theme for the night was, “Go pretty ladies in pretty dresses!” Or, slightly less reductive, “Hooray for women in entertainment who have reached the pinnacle of their professional careers all the while breaking down barriers and making history.” In pretty dresses. And with that, it’s time for the very special Oscar edition of Straight Gals* Acting Like Gay Gals. (*With the exception of Jodie, of course. Also, jury’s still out on K-Stew. Edit: And, I know, they played mom and daughter. All of this is clearly make believe.)

Tina Fey & Elizabeth BanksElizabeth looks a little like she pulled down the left strap to Tina’s dress. I like how she thinks.

Oprah & Gabourey SidibeIf Oprah’s hand was one inch closer, Gayle would be sooo jealous.

Jennifer Lopez & Demi MooreMostly Demi is just a Straight Gal Acting Like a Drunk Gal. But that’s how many a SGALGG moment starts off. Remember college?

Meryl Streep & Amy AdamsMeryl just asking a very pregnant Amy, “It’s not mine, is it?”

Meryl Streep & Sandra BullockSandy thanked, “my lover, Meryl” and called her “SUCH a good kisser.” So kiss her, you fool.

Sandra Bullock & Helen MirrenLook, Meryl, if you don’t kiss Sandy soon Helen will. You snooze, you lose.

Anna Kendrick & Sigourney WeaverSigourney has just told Anna how they would earn their Mile High Club membership if they were both “Up in the Air.”

Miley Cyrus & Amanda SeyfriedAmanda is letting Miley down easy here. A gal’s got to have standards, you know.

Rosario Dawson & Angie HarmonHow much do you want to jump in between that soon-to-be sandwich?

Barbra Streisand & Kathryn BigelowBarbra to Kathryn: “Darling, you’re like buttah.”

Hilary Swank & Rashida JonesNothing SGALGG-y here, just thought the GGs reading might enjoy the fact that both these ladies mistakenly thought they were going to the Golden Globes. Ahem.

Kristen Stewart & Jodie FosterLover’s quarrel.

For a more comprehensive (rather than “oooh, pretty!”) look at the Oscars, check out my post at AfterEllen today.

My Weekend Crush

This is going to be Sandra Bullock’s year. On Sunday, odds are Sandy will beat the Streeps and Mirrens to walk away with a shiny new golden mantle ornament. And I in no way begrudge her success. A 20-plus-year veteran of the business, she has been in every imaginable kind of movie. Good movies, bad movies, really bad movies. But through it all she has retained this infinitely likable quality. You can’t buy it, you can’t learn it, she just has it. You like her. You want her to do well. Now I still haven’t seen “The Blind Side,” so I can’t speak to its quality. And I’m an unbridled fan of Meryl and Helen, but I think I’ll be cheering for Sandy this Sunday. It’s almost impossible to root against her. At 45, she is still at the top of her game, still making movies that moviegoers want to see and still making us like her. Also, I kind of hope if she wins she’ll make out with Meryl again. A gal can dream. Happy weekend, all.

Tank Top Tuesday: Oscar Edition

Say hello to the only time of the year that a tiny bald man gets me hot and bothered. Yes, it’s Oscar time. This morning the nominations were released and many deserving films (and a few undeserving ones) were honored as the year’s best. An unprecedented 10 movies are up for Best Picture. Though, we all know it’s a horse race between the giant blue Smurfs of “Avatar” and the explosive soldiers of “The Hurt Locker.” But enough about that, how about those ladies? All of the actresses have proven their talent through their marvelous performance this year. And, just as important, they all look fantastic in a tank top (or darn close to tank tops). What? Just because the Academy Awards are prestigious doesn’t mean I can’t be shallow. Happy Tuesday, you magnificent Oscar nominees, you.

BEST ACTRESS

Sandra Bullock, “The Blind Side”Helen Mirren, “The Last Station”Carey Muligan, “An Education”

Gaborey Sibide, “Precious”Meryl Streep, “Julie & Julia”


BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Penelope Cruz, “Nine”Vera Farmiga , “Up in the Air”

Maggie Gyllenhaal, “Crazy Heart”Anna Kendrick, “Up in the Air”Mo’Nique, “Precious”And, lest we forget, Best DirectorKathryn Bigelow, “The Hurt Locker”

Kick those boys’ asses, Kathryn.

SGALGG: Golden Globes Edition

Award season means one thing. No, not a run on seaweed wraps and protein shakes in the greater Los Angeles area. It means its SGALGG time. And thanks to its free-flowing alcohol, the Golden Globes are usually an excellent breeding ground for Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals behavior. Consider it SGALGGGG. Let Lea Michele, Jenna Ushkowitz and Dianna Agron will show everyone how it’s done.

Jeanne Tripplehorn & Drew BarrymoreI think Drew is confused about how to give a proper hickey.

Mo’Nique & Nicole KidmanIn my head, Mo’Nique has made a filthy proposition to Nicole and Nicole is, well, seriously considering it.

Anna Paquin & Deborah Ann WollNow if Sookie and Jessica were an item instead of boring old Bill, maybe I’d watch “True Blood.”

Suzy Amis & Sigourney WeaverYou do not know how much I wish Sigourney would put her arm around me like that.

Amy Poehler & Tina FeyTheir shows didn’t win anything. So I’ll let Amy comfort my wife in special, private ways for the night.

Leslie Bibb & Molly SimmsEither a SGALGG moment or the beginning of Hands Across America.

Lisa Edelstein & Olivia WildeLisa is totally giving Olivia a fuck me face. Can you blame her?

Olivia Wilde & unknown guestI commend this lady’s desperate attempts to get SGALGGy with Olivia. Can you blame her?

Naya Rivera & Heather MorrisBrittana lives!

BONUS: Critics’ Choice Movie Awards SGALGG

Meryl Streep & Sandra Bullock
Kissing it out is the new hugging it out. Pass it on.

p.s. Anyone know who that lady was who was part of a very GGALGG moment with Jane Lynch at the Golden Globes? Inquiring lesbians want to know.

UPDATE: Mystery solved! Though no small amount of stalking sleuthing, I (with help from an army of nosy lesbians) was able to discover that Jane Lynch did indeed bring her girlfriend, Lara Embry, to the Golden Globes, kissed her girlfriend when Glee won and plans to wed her girlfriend in May. Mazel tov, ladies. [Hat tip, Andrea, Jst_a_Grrl, Rachel and — of course — The Linster!]