Vacation Vixen: Amy Poehler

No panda could ever be sad around Amy. Especially not a panda who is copping a little feel.

My Weekend Crush

I know I’ve talked about this before, and you know I’m going to talk about this again – but, goddamn, do I love having “Parks and Recreation” and “30 Rock” back-to-back. They are my favorite hilarious hour of television. They require no time shifting, no channel changing, no moving from the couch. Leslie Knope and Liz Lemon were meant to be together. They give us 60 non-stop minutes of fabulously funny female leads together. They give us a continuous stream of endearingly quirky cast members together. Together, they make my Thursday night the best night ever. They truly are my television OTP. The only way it could possibly be better is if they were in the same full hour block together (say, 9-10p.m. – hint, hint) and “Outsourced” didn’t exist at all. God, that show is terrible. It should be illegal for it to follow “Park and Recreation” and “30 Rock.” ILLEGAL. Nothing that unfunny should be allowed within 30 miles, let alone 30 minutes of Amy Poehler and Tina Fey’s brilliance. But I don’t let its presence harsh my buzz, because thanks to a tiny bit of time shifting afterward, I can end my night instead with a tall, cool Sarah Shahi nightcap on “Fairly Legal.” Damn Funny + Damn Pretty = Pretty Damn Funny. Thursday night, I love you. Happy weekend, all.

Parks & Recreation


30 Rock

Bosom Buddies

Tonight, tonight, toooo-NIGHT! Tonight reigning First Ladies of Funny Business and Queens of Smarty Pants Tina Fey and Amy Poehler return to my TV where they belong. “Parks and Recreation” and “30 Rock” debut tonight in their new back-to-back timeslots of 9:30 and 10 p.m. on NBC (which thanks to the FCC is now well on its way to being rebranded as Kabletown). While the schedule shuffling is a little odd (10 o’clock comedy? NBC, have you learned nothing from the Jaypocalypse?), I am beyond thrilled to have my two favorite hilarious hotties on my TV together where they belong. Sure, I’d timeshifted them that way already, but this requires so much less lifting of my remote control. I am nothing if not gloriously lazy about my fanaticisms. What I love so much about Tina’s Liz Lemon and Amy’s Leslie Knope is, of course, their humor and intellect, but also their unabashed feminism. Yes, feminism can be funny. This is the proof. While both shows poke fun at the “F”-word at times, at their core they are built upon a construct that believes women are just as smart, capable and deserving of positions of power and responsibility. They’re just as good (or bad) as the boys, and often even better.

The other thing I love so much about Tina and Amy is their friendship, which has remained a constant through “Saturday Night Live” and the Upright Citizens Brigade and movie stardom and motherhood. Female friendship on screen is often celebrated in a sort of condescending lit candles and wine party sort of way. It’s something to be set to sappy musical montages that may or may not include singing together into a hairbrush. But real female friendship is about shared success, support and strength. Just like the endearingly geeky characters they’ve created in Liz and Leslie, Tina and Amy are fantastic examples to women young and old of what it really means to be a strong woman today. You don’t have to take yourself too seriously, but you never take your talent for granted and you always support each other in your ambitions.

A look at the many looks of Tina & Amy:

SNL Silliness
UCB Silliness
Totally Glam
Totally Butch
Touchy Feely
Really Touchy Feely
Sexy Tennis

Oh, Tina and Amy – thank you for coming back to us. Thank you for being friends. If Tina can’t be my Fake TV Wife, too, I’m at the very least glad she is with such a worthy alternate as Amy. Though, ladies, I am not opposed to some sort of “Big Love” resolution to this situation. Think about it. Tina already admitted you two are working the Oprah & Gayle. I can work with that.

Park it

Five weeks! Five weeks until Leslie Knope! Five weeks until the return to Pawnee! Five weeks until Ron Freaking Swanson! You’ve been gone too long, “Parks & Recreation.” Never leave me like that again. For those of you unfamiliar with the encroaching joy I feel, please walk out your front door, get in your car (or bike or feet or whatever mode of transportation gets you from Point A to Point B), go to the store, find the DVD aisle and buy the second season of “Parks & Recreation,” get back in your car (or, you know, whatever), go home, close the front door and enjoy. You’ve got plenty of time to marathon the second season and get caught up before the third season starts Jan. 20. You don’t even have to take the time to thank me for my stupendously good advice.

Now, I realize I have been terribly remiss in not talking about my deep and meaningful feelings for this show that much on this site. Everyone knows I love me some “30 Rock,” but coming in an almost uncomfortably close second is the endearing zaniness of the Pawnee City Department of Parks and Recreation and its deputy director, Leslie Knope. This show was easily the most improved series from last year and the perfect one-two comedy punch for my Thursday night. I purposely time-shifted so I could watch my Tina Fey and Amy Poehler back-to-back. It’s like old times seeing them at the SNL anchor desk together again. But now, with “Parks & Rec” moving to 9:30 and “30 Rock” to 10, I won’t have to shift anymore. So as cautiously wary as I am of a 10 p.m. comedy block on NBC again (remember Leno? Better yet, let’s not), I love having them back-to-back naturally.

But back to the show. If you don’t watch you’re missing out on one of the zaniest, biggest-hearted, optimistically goofy shows on television. Yes, “30 Rock” has the urbane, zeitgeisty nerd humor. Yes, “Modern Family” has the rainbow flag of family values. Yes, “Glee” has jazz hands. But “Parks & Rec” has Leslie Knope. She’s like Hillary Clinton’s wildly enthusiastic and affably naive younger sister who makes up for what she lacks in political savvy with earnest hopefulness. Also, like her timeslot neighbor Liz Lemon, is an avowed feminist. That’s two shows on a major network television airing consecutively with female leads who call themselves feminists. Yeah, at this point I think it’s a sin against womankind not to watch.

p.s. I think Ron Swanson might be my spirit animal (minus the hating government stuff – and mustache) because I, too, like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food.

Tank Top Tuesday: Premiere Week Edition

Oh, premiere week, how I love you. It’s like Christmas and your birthday all wrapped up in a big bow and placed with love on the couch for you. What is hiding underneath the pretty wrappers? Something you’ll love? Something you’ll return? Something you’ll regift at the office holiday party next year. So far, Monday night belongs to Yvonne Strahovski (with a kick-ass assist from Linda Hamilton). “Chuck was the best thing I saw yesterday. As for the big “Hawaii Five-O” vs. “Chase” showdown, I’m somewhat underwhelmed with both. The big Five-O seems more like a potential gay boy Rizzoli & Isles with Alex O’Laughlin McGarrett and Scott Caan Danno bickering like an old married couple. Just wait until they both show off their abs and start making googley eyes at each other. Grace Park was quite nice, but I’m generally adverse to any show that only has one regular female character amid a sea of male ones. Call it my Bechdel Test for TV. As for “Chase,” it was pretty straight forward: Bad guys run, good guys chase them. Truth in advertising, I guess. I hope Rose Rollins gets to have more than two lines of dialogue per show.

Handicapping of the rest of the week, Tank Top Tuesday style.

TODAY

Lea Michele, Glee I am displeased to report that Rachel is still the same old Rachel in the second season premiere. Her voice sure sounds great, though.

Heather MorrisI am pleased to report that Brittany is the same old Brittany in the second season premiere. With more discussion of boobs.

Naya RiveraSantana’s boobs are also a hot discussion topic, though perhaps not how you’d expect.

Jane LynchThough, if it were up to me, we’d talk about Sue’s boobs. I knew something spectacular lurked beneath that track suit.

Keri Russell, Running Wilde“Running Wilde” is getting shitty reviews, but Felicity looks great.

WEDNESDAY

Sofia Vergara, Modern FamilyLet the ridiculous rolling of Rs commence.

THURSDAY

Amy Poehler, Parks & RecreationI really wish they’d bring this back now instead of midseason. I need my Tina/Amy punch like back in the Weekend Update days.

Alison Brie, CommunityI don’t watch this. This may be an error on my part.

Nina Dobrev, The Vampire DiariesI know, I know, you don’t watch. But, come on, she plays two characters. Double your pleasure, kittens.

Maggie Q, NikitaStill not entirely sure I’m sold yet. But there is running with a gun in a tank top. So it can’t be all bad.

Anna Torv, FringeI don’t know how I’m going to fit this in to my watch/DVR/stream schedule this season. But, dammit, if this doesn’t make me want to try harder.

SGALGG & GGALGG: Emmys Edition

Wow, thems were some gay Emmys. Yes, indeedy. From Jane Lynch to “Modern Family” to that all-singing, all-spectacular Gleetastic opening number, the show was a merry and gay affair. Now, digesting the full magnitude of a major award show always takes me two days. The first day is to go over the nuts and bolts of who won this and who said that. Then the second day I can just sit back and devour the pretty. And, kittens, there was so much pretty. Let’s start with the gay gals and their lady loves (sorry, I can’t say lovers – to quote my favorite Emmy loser Tina Fey, “that word bums me out unless it’s between the words ‘meat’ and ‘pizza.’”) and then we’ll progress to the straight gals. But no matter where they stood on the Kinsey Scale, a whole lotta ladies were acting like gay gals at the Emmys. Can you blame them, I mean, we are pretty awesome.

GGALGG

Jane Lynch & Lara EmbryThe love, it burns! I love them together. I love that Jane kissed Lara when she won. I love that she also said “I love you my wife, Lara” on stage. You want to know why gay marriage matters? This is why gay marriage matters. Love.
Wanda & Alex SykesThey look like a fresco of Greek goddesses painted onto an ancient wall somewhere being uncovered by an archeologist who thrills with each brush stroke as she carefully reveals their beauty from underneath centuries of earth and time. Sorry, let me amend that, a smoking hot fresco of Greek goddesses. Hot damn, those girls – and Alex and Wanda look good, too.
SGALGG

Tina Fey & Mariska HargitayThis is becoming like a thing between these two. It is like the mere sight of each other in sleek, sparkly gowns is too much for them to take and then that hand goes from firmly around the waist to, well, firmly everywhere. Maybe Mariska and Tina are the real-life Alex and Olivia. Ship that, people.
[Hat tip, Allegra!]

Sofia Vergara & Julie BowenIf you thought Mariska had a firm grip on Tina, check out Julie’s grip on Sofia . You’d need the Jaws of Life to get her hand off of her. Plus dude in the back is totally, “Hell, yeah.”

Claire Danes & Julia Ormond

Claire looks like she has had a bit too much champagne and has just whispered “Take me home” into Julia’s ear. Also, shoot Julia, where have you been hiding all that gorgeous these last few years?

Christina Hendricks & January JonesI want to say something terribly witty about how they look together, but I’ve forgotten how to form words.

Toni Collette & Julia Louis DreyfusI like to think that the Emmy losers console each other backstage. And by “console,” I mean “make out.”

Padma Lakshmi & Gail SimmonsWhen people say food porn, this is what they’re picturing.

Heather Morris & Naya Rivera

Brittana, you’ve got me wrapped around whichever finger you want to use in whatever situation you feel like using it. Ahem.

Mariana Klaveno, Kristin Bauer & Anna PaquinThe Bill-Sookie-Eric sandwich isn’t the only threesome worth talking about on “True Blood.” Not by a long shot.

Amy Poehler, Aubrey Plaza & Tina FeySpeaking of threesomes, gay sexy vampires aren’t the only ones who look good having them. Let’s make this “30 Rock” meets “Parks and Recreation” very special crossover happen.

Archie Panjabi & the Emmy statuetteShe is going to take it behind the garage door and get it pregnant, Tracy Jordan style.

Bonus I: Best. Emmy. Picture. Ever.Tina Fey, Amy Poehler & Jon Hamm dancing their asses off. I’ll be honest, that’s a threesome I could totally get behind, too.

Bonus II: Best. Tina. Video. Ever.
After dancing her ass off with Amy and Jon while downing what I can only assume was copious amounts of champagne, Tina goes to find her limo. God, that giggle. That hair.

What it looks like when New York gets drunk, y’all. Suck it, nerds!

SGALGG: Golden Globes Edition

Award season means one thing. No, not a run on seaweed wraps and protein shakes in the greater Los Angeles area. It means its SGALGG time. And thanks to its free-flowing alcohol, the Golden Globes are usually an excellent breeding ground for Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals behavior. Consider it SGALGGGG. Let Lea Michele, Jenna Ushkowitz and Dianna Agron will show everyone how it’s done.

Jeanne Tripplehorn & Drew BarrymoreI think Drew is confused about how to give a proper hickey.

Mo’Nique & Nicole KidmanIn my head, Mo’Nique has made a filthy proposition to Nicole and Nicole is, well, seriously considering it.

Anna Paquin & Deborah Ann WollNow if Sookie and Jessica were an item instead of boring old Bill, maybe I’d watch “True Blood.”

Suzy Amis & Sigourney WeaverYou do not know how much I wish Sigourney would put her arm around me like that.

Amy Poehler & Tina FeyTheir shows didn’t win anything. So I’ll let Amy comfort my wife in special, private ways for the night.

Leslie Bibb & Molly SimmsEither a SGALGG moment or the beginning of Hands Across America.

Lisa Edelstein & Olivia WildeLisa is totally giving Olivia a fuck me face. Can you blame her?

Olivia Wilde & unknown guestI commend this lady’s desperate attempts to get SGALGGy with Olivia. Can you blame her?

Naya Rivera & Heather MorrisBrittana lives!

BONUS: Critics’ Choice Movie Awards SGALGG

Meryl Streep & Sandra Bullock
Kissing it out is the new hugging it out. Pass it on.

p.s. Anyone know who that lady was who was part of a very GGALGG moment with Jane Lynch at the Golden Globes? Inquiring lesbians want to know.

UPDATE: Mystery solved! Though no small amount of stalking sleuthing, I (with help from an army of nosy lesbians) was able to discover that Jane Lynch did indeed bring her girlfriend, Lara Embry, to the Golden Globes, kissed her girlfriend when Glee won and plans to wed her girlfriend in May. Mazel tov, ladies. [Hat tip, Andrea, Jst_a_Grrl, Rachel and — of course — The Linster!]