Tank Top Tuesday: TV Time

Between the return of winter TV and the start of pilot season, so much has happened that I think we’re going to need to review the revised landscape with clear-eyed, in-depth, critical analysis. In other words, we’re going to review it with tank top.

Sarah Michelle GellarSMG is coming back to TV. If that doesn’t get you excited check your pulse. If you don’t have a pulse, look out for SMG because she may be coming to stake you. Old habits die hard.

Minka KellyShe’s one of the new Angels on the “Charlie’s Angels” reboot. If the show is a hit, will boyfriend Derek Jeter start playing for Anaheim as a show of solidarity?

Adrianne PalickiPeople agree on two things when it comes to David E. Kelley’s new “Wonder Woman” series. 1) They love Adrianne’s casting as Wonder Woman. 2) They hate the pilot script with a fiery passion.

Zooey DeschanelShe is going to star in a pilot for a project that had the working title “Chicks and Dicks.” It’s hard to think of a title with less appeal to gay ladies, unless you called it “Dicks and Dicks,” but then it’d be a reality show on Logo and I’d totally watch that with several cocktails and my best gays.

Laura PreponI really liked her better as a redhead. But then I guess you have to embrace the peroxide to play Chelsea Handler, and the vodka.

Anna TorvFringe is now on Friday, but mostly I just wanted to post her holding this gun. Mmmm.

Jennifer Beals“The Chicago Code” broke out the white tank top for the very first episode. It’s blatant pandering to the lesbians, and we like it.

Sarah Shahi“Fairly Legal” isn’t a great TV show or anything. But it’s fun and Sarah has showed up in her underwear. So, you know, sold.

Caroline DhavernasI stopped watching “Off the Map” for the same reasons I don’t watch “Grey’s Anatomy.” Doctors with personal problems (with or without borders) just aren’t my thing. But I still love you, Jaye Tyler.

Sofia VergaraNothing new is happening with “Modern Family,” but when you have a chance to post a picture like this, you take it.

So, what new TV pilot or show has your temperature rising. And, remember, please phrase your answer in the form of a tank top.

A Glee Thang

I’ll admit it, I miss “Glee.” It’s like an hour-long vacation for the parts of my brain that process logic and rational thought each week. Instead it just stimulates the parts of my brain that like glittery and shiny things. So, yeah, I miss it. I like shiny things. Which is why I was so tickled to see the Funny or Die “Nuthin’ But a Glee Thang” video. It’s those adorably omnipresent Glee kids. And Sofia Vergara. And a blow-up Jane Lynch sex doll. And Heather Morris and Naya Rivera dancing together – closely. Enough talking, let’s cut to a music number!

OK, things I love.

1) Sofia saying “Comparing Jane with the rest of the cast is like comparing the Great Barrier Reef with a piece of dog shit. No offense, Heather. …. Heather is my favorite.” Also Sofia in a Sue Sylvester tracksuit. See, “Glee” fans and “Modern Family” fans can live together in peace.

2) Heather and her Jane doll. You could sell those and make a killing. I mean, I wouldn’t buy one. But other people. Yeah, other people.

3) HeYa together like this and like that and like this and uh. Also, when Heather says Naya and her are “like birds and bees” does that mean those birds and bees? Because, you know, thank you forever for that mental image.

Oh, “Glee.” I wish I knew how to quit you.

Sofia Vergara sexy in lingeire fashion

Sofia Margarita Vergara was Born on July 10, 1972 at Barranquilla, Coloumbia.She is a Colombian Model and Actress. Official Site
Vergara was discovered by a photographer while walking a Colombian beach

She made her first public appearance at the age of 17 in a Pepsi commercial that was widely telecast all over Latin America.

Sofia Vergara sexy in lingeire fashion

Tank Top Tuesday: Premiere Week Edition

Oh, premiere week, how I love you. It’s like Christmas and your birthday all wrapped up in a big bow and placed with love on the couch for you. What is hiding underneath the pretty wrappers? Something you’ll love? Something you’ll return? Something you’ll regift at the office holiday party next year. So far, Monday night belongs to Yvonne Strahovski (with a kick-ass assist from Linda Hamilton). “Chuck was the best thing I saw yesterday. As for the big “Hawaii Five-O” vs. “Chase” showdown, I’m somewhat underwhelmed with both. The big Five-O seems more like a potential gay boy Rizzoli & Isles with Alex O’Laughlin McGarrett and Scott Caan Danno bickering like an old married couple. Just wait until they both show off their abs and start making googley eyes at each other. Grace Park was quite nice, but I’m generally adverse to any show that only has one regular female character amid a sea of male ones. Call it my Bechdel Test for TV. As for “Chase,” it was pretty straight forward: Bad guys run, good guys chase them. Truth in advertising, I guess. I hope Rose Rollins gets to have more than two lines of dialogue per show.

Handicapping of the rest of the week, Tank Top Tuesday style.

TODAY

Lea Michele, Glee I am displeased to report that Rachel is still the same old Rachel in the second season premiere. Her voice sure sounds great, though.

Heather MorrisI am pleased to report that Brittany is the same old Brittany in the second season premiere. With more discussion of boobs.

Naya RiveraSantana’s boobs are also a hot discussion topic, though perhaps not how you’d expect.

Jane LynchThough, if it were up to me, we’d talk about Sue’s boobs. I knew something spectacular lurked beneath that track suit.

Keri Russell, Running Wilde“Running Wilde” is getting shitty reviews, but Felicity looks great.

WEDNESDAY

Sofia Vergara, Modern FamilyLet the ridiculous rolling of Rs commence.

THURSDAY

Amy Poehler, Parks & RecreationI really wish they’d bring this back now instead of midseason. I need my Tina/Amy punch like back in the Weekend Update days.

Alison Brie, CommunityI don’t watch this. This may be an error on my part.

Nina Dobrev, The Vampire DiariesI know, I know, you don’t watch. But, come on, she plays two characters. Double your pleasure, kittens.

Maggie Q, NikitaStill not entirely sure I’m sold yet. But there is running with a gun in a tank top. So it can’t be all bad.

Anna Torv, FringeI don’t know how I’m going to fit this in to my watch/DVR/stream schedule this season. But, dammit, if this doesn’t make me want to try harder.

Remote control

Fire up your DVRs kids, it’s TV watching time. Fall shows start returning tonight and my little TV-loving heart couldn’t be more pleased. Per usual, there will be a major log jam on Thursday nights. When you have to resort to four different recording/viewing methods in a two-hour span, you have to think the TV gods are just fucking with you. There are other nights of the week, people. Spread the love. Speaking of love, the only thing more fun than watching TV is comparing notes with other TV watchers. So, let’s see it. I’ll show you my fall schedule if you show me yours.

Vampire Diaries, tonight, CWI might be the only person here who let out a little squeal when Nina Dobrev jumped out like a cat to join the big Emmy opening number. She is lovely as nice human girl Elena, but bring on the year of the Kat. I’m a sucker for badass vampire chicks. Sucker, see what I did there?

Nikita, tonight, CWMy, Maggie Q, what stretchy stretchy pants you have. Suddenly, Q is my favorite letter in the alphabet.

House, Sept. 20, FoxI stopped watching last season. And Olivia Wilde isn’t even going to be around for much of the beginning of this year. But I still included it because it totally looks like Thirteen is copping a feel of Cuddy’s ass.

Chuck, Sept. 20, NBCHow come I never get seated next to someone who looks like Yvonne StraHOTski?

Glee, Sept. 21, FoxJane Freaking Lynch. Enough said. OK, fine, also Brittana.
Now, really, enough said.

Criminal Minds, Sept. 22, CBSI can’t believe they’re getting rid of A.J. Cook. But her love of Paget Brewster will live on forever in femslash.

Modern Family, Sept. 22, ABCI don’t know if Sofia Vergara and Julie Bowen ever got over their feud, but I also don’t care as long as they keep bringing the LOLs. And the Hot.

30 Rock, Sept. 23, NBCOh, Tina. Hold me.

CSI, Sept. 23, CBSThat little lesbian Justin Bieber is in the season premiere. But Starbuck is joining the team starting in November sweeps. Katee Sackhoff and Jorja Fox fan fiction, please. And if you’re feeling really naughty, Marg Helgenberger can come and play, too.

Bones, Sept. 23, FoxI hate Emily Deschanel’s new bangs. There, I said it.

Fringe, Sept 23, FoxLike House, I stopped watching Fringe last season. But Alternate Universe Olivia Dunham is pinging the hell out of my gaydar.
I mean, that belt.

Body of Proof, Sept. 24, ABCMy hopes aren’t super high for this show, but Dana Delany and Jeri Ryan are at least worth a look. Or two.

Yes, I realize Grey’s Anatomy is missing from this list. (*whispers*) I don’t watch. But I am happy to YouTube the Calzona bits later. And yes, Parks & Recreation is missing, too. But that’s because it doesn’t premiere until midseason. (*single tear*) OK, so, let’s see it. How will you be abusing your DVR – or VCR, if you like to kick it old school – this fall season?