Gender Fuck Thursday

I will fully admit to not understanding the whole mustache meme. What’s that all about? Why does everyone have a big black fake Mr. Pringles stache all of a sudden? Kid these days. I don’t really get it. Of course, my father had a full mustache and beard for basically all of his life, so maybe I just associate it with dad things and not the apparent old-timey whimsy it’s supposed to imply. Or maybe I’m just old curmudgeony, instead of timey. What can I say, I’m just a sucker for some soft, smooth skin. Still, on Catherine Deneuve I will accept any and all facial hair. And a bowler. And a bowtie. And cufflinks. Sweet fancy Moses, I love cufflinks. Though, other than Catherine, staches just aren’t my jam. (That is what the youths are calling it, no?) I dunno. But I do know that while we may have to agree to disagree on fake facial hair, I hope we can all agree that a lady in menswear will never go out of style. Plus, she has the added bonus of never having to worry about – shall we say – unfortunate mustache tickle. And, to make amends for dissing the old-timey mustache, how about some old-timey black and white gender fuck.

[Hat tip, Jennifer for the delightful Deneuve photo above.]

Isabella RosselliniI used to have a real thing for double-breasted suits. I mean, the name alone.

Zoe SaldanaShoulder pads, on the other hand, I never had a thing for. But all of a sudden I don’t mind so much.

Anne HathawayProper tailoring is critical to allow movement. Yay, tailoring.

Milla JovovichNot everyone can pull off all white. Luckily Milla is not everyone.

Vanessa ParadisHowever, everyone should have a lounging around tuxedo. It should be, like, a rule.

Gemma ArtertonSeriously, I think this lounging around tuxedo rule could be revolutionary.

Monica BellucciAdmit it, most of your wildest dreams aren’t nearly this delicious.

Jessie Matthews, “Just a Girl” (1935)Now this kind of old-timey has my full endorsement.

Gender Fuck Thursday

There is no one way to properly gender fuck. In fact, it’s the variation that makes it so terribly delicious. Who says you need to wear a tie? Or a jacket? Or even pants? Wait, I think I’m getting off track here. What it’s really all about is owning your look and looking damn good no matter what you’re wearing. Sure, we can’t all look as flawless as Katharine Hepburn in a full suit and hat. But these ladies sure do their part fucking with gender in their own special way.

Billie Piper in suspenders
Winona Ryder in a smoking jacket
Evan Rachel Wood in a uniform
Zhang Ziyi in an Annie Hall
Pink in a vest
Melanie Laurent in no jacket
Piper Perabo in no tie
Drew Barrymore in no shirt
Sofia Coppola in an untied tie
Julie Andrews in a neatly tied tie
Gemma Arterton in a tuxedo
Keeley Hawes & Rachael Stirling in full tux, tails & top hat

Ah, yes, variety is truly the spice of gender fuck.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Red Carpet Attire

So in the last week or so I’ve noticed a lot of ladies showing up on the red carpet in full men’s wear. I’m not talking just a petite blazer over a pencil skirt, but a real formal suit. Obviously, I’m all for this. And, being driven by the unwavering pursuit of scientific excellence, my next step was naturally to conduct my own thorough research into this phenomena. And because no scientific finding can be verified without a thorough peer review, I present my findings to you. If science was always like this in high school, I would have become a nuclear physicist.

Leighton MeesterThis is a full-on traditional men’s suit. I approve.

Olivia WildeThis is a full-on traditional 80s suit. I disapprove.

Winona RyderThis looks like she stole it from Marilyn Manson’s closet. But, it’s Noni and she does an amazing job with her small but crucial part in “Black Swan.” So, um, forgiven.

Jane LynchThis looks like she stole it from the set of “Night at the Roxbury.” But, it’s Jane fucking Lynch. So, forgiven forever.

Julianne MooreFifty is the new OMFGHOWHOTISTHAT?

Christina HendricksThat thump you just heard was the sound of lesbians everywhere hitting the floor after passing out.

Diane KeatonLadies look good in white suits, too. Usually, better than men.

Janelle MonaeSometimes a lot better than men.

Tilda SwintonSometimes there is no gender, only Tilda Swinton.

Ellen DeGeneresHell, Ellen doesn’t even need a suit jacket. She already has the most beautiful life-size boutonniere you could ever want.

I think all these lovely ladies may have blinded me a little with their science. While I try to regain sight, tell me which of these specimens you find the finest. Science, it’s irrefutable.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Mind the Gap

I wasn’t going to have a Gender Fuck Thursday this week. But then Padma showed up in a suit and tie on “Top Chef” and I had no choice. I am powerless against such hotness. Crippled, even. But Padma’s suiting up also presents an excellent opportunity to talk about fit. In particular, I want to talk about how suits fit if you are, say, a tad busty. Now the thing about suits and menswear in general is, well, they were made originally for men. And men, by and large, don’t have great racks. So when a woman with the aforementioned fantastic phenomena puts on a suit, something happens. Tailoring, therefore, is key. One doesn’t want it to be too loose or too tight. Improperly tailored menswear creates too much unfortunate gapping. Though, admittedly, sometimes gapping is a good thing – a very, very good thing.

Padma LakshmiShe looked like a fancy maître d’. A hot, fancy fancy maître d’.
[SPOILER: Total bullshit about [PKYAGed person] going home, total.]
p.s. In all fairness, I did use SPOILER in the post, people. And I do not have "cuts" on this blog.

Angelina JolieRemember when I said gapping was good? I was not wrong.

Scarlett JohanssonChoice of proper under suit shirt is essential. Well done, Scarlett.

Dita Von TeeseHer tailor deserves a raise, possibly a medal.

Janet JacksonThe double-breasted suit takes on a whole new meaning on ladies.

Maggie GyllenhaalSometimes perfectly avoidable gapping should not be avoided. This is one of those times.

Salma HayekButtoning all the buttons is, admittedly, tricky.

Christina HendricksSpeaking of buttons, I fear for this one’s life. And ours, if we’re standing directly in front of Christina. But, oh, what sweet death.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Tie Me Up Edition

Who doesn’t love to tie one on? A necktie, people, a necktie. Sheesh, bunch of drunks here. As a kid, I loved ties. My father rarely wore them, so when he did we knew it was a special occasion. That, of course, led to their mystique. I had a few hand-me downs my dad gave me to play dress up with. In fact, one of my favorite things to do was to wear one of my dad’s old 60s Lord & Taylor suit jackets (slim-cut, so they almost fit), slick my hair back and put on a tie. Geez, and you wonder why it took me forever to figure out The Gay. I haven’t worn one in a while. But with lovely ladies like Katharine Hepburn as inspiration, perhaps it’s time to give it another try. Now, who wants to show me how to tie a Windsor knot again?

Ellen PageI looked a little like her swimming in my suits back in the day.

Gillian AndersonShe looks a little like she is auditioning for “The Office.” Oooh, maybe she can be the new Michael Scott.

Hilary SwankGod, she makes a handsome boy, doesn’t she?

Janelle MonaeIt is one of my greatest wishes that Janelle will help usher in a trend of women in beautifully cut tuxedos.

Kirsten DunstTaking ties off can be as fun as putting them on. Sometimes more.

Emma ThompsonI believe the word you’re looking for here is rawwwr.
[Hat tip, babsf!]

Clara BowThe It Girl in a tie and suspenders. Now we know what “It” was.

Ingrid BergmanIngrid in that tie is totally worth more than a hill of beans.

Marlene DietrichNo Gender Fuck Thursday is truly complete without her. Period.